Hitch-hiker's Guide Restoration Project

Pages: Introduction and Background - Finding the Differences - Fit the Third - Fit the Fourth - Fit the Twelfth - Restoring the Lost Material - Credits

 


Episode 4 - Fit The Fourth - Dinner with the Mice

Here's the script for the scene with the mice, showing the differences between the two versions. Text in red is the original off-air version, and text in blue is from the revised version. The effects featured in this scene also change.
F/X         Door opening sound. 
                        
GRAMS       Background noise of a busy quiet restaurant. 
                       
TRILLIAN    Arthur! You're safe.                                 
                                                             
ARTHUR      Am I? Oh good.                                        
                                                            
FORD        Hi Arthur, come and join us!                         
                                                          
ARTHUR      Ford, Trillian, Zaphod! What happened to you?
                                                         
ZAPHOD      Er, well. Our hosts here, sort of, er, attacked us with 
            a fantastic dismodulating anti-phase stun ray and then invited 
            us to this amazingly keen meal by way of making it up to us.  
                                                             
ARTHUR      Hosts? What hosts? I can't see any hosts.           
                                                           
BENJY       Welcome to lunch, Earth creature!                  
                                                         
ARTHUR      What? Who said that? Urgh! There's a mouse on the table 
                                                               
FORD        Oh, haven't you found out yet, Arthur?                  
                                                             
ARTHUR      Found out what? Oh! Oh I see, yes. Oh yes. I.. I, err,
            just wasn't quite prepared for the full reality of it.       
                                                            
TRILLIAN    Arthur. Let me introduce you. This is Benjy Mouse.
                                                           
BENJY       Hi.                                                
                                                         
ARTHUR      Hi.                                             
                                                       
TRILLIAN    And this is Frankie, er., Mouse.            
                                                     
FRANKIE     Nice to meet you.                          
                                                   
TRILLIAN    It seems they control quite a large sector of  
            the Universe in our dimension.                          
                                                       
ARTHUR      But aren't they...?                           
                                                     
TRILLIAN    Yes, they are the mice I took with me from the Earth. 
            It seems our whole journey has been stage-managed from the     
            beginning.                                                    
                                                             
SLARTI      Err, excuse me?                                     
                                                           
BENJY       Yes, thankyou Slartibartfast, you may go.          
                                                         
SLARTI      What? Oh, oh. Very well, thankyou sir, I'll, I'll
            just go and get on with some of my fjords, then.         
                                                        
FRANKIE     In fact that won't be necessary, we won't be  
            requiring the new Earth after all. We've had this rather
            interesting proposition put to us. 
                                                      
SLARTI      What? 

FRANKIE     We've had this rather interesting proposition put to us.

SLARTI      You can't mean that! I've got a thousand 
            glaciers poised and ready to roll over Africa!       
                                                    
FRANKIE     Well, perhaps you'd better you can take 
            a quick skiing holiday before you dismantle them.  
                                                  
SLARTI      Skiing holiday! Those glaciers are works of art! Elegantly
            sculptured contours, soaring pinnacles of ice, deep majestic  
            ravines! It would be sacrilege to go skiing on High Art!     
                                                            
FRANKIE     Thankyou, Slartibartfast. That will be all.       
                                                          
SLARTI      Yes sir, thankyou very much sir. Well, goodbye Earthman.
            Hope the lifestyle comes together.                             
                                                               
ARTHUR      Goodbye, then. Sorry about the fjords.                
                                                             
BENJY       Now, to business.           
                                                           
FORD AND ZAPHOD To business. Cheers. (clink glasses).  
                                                                
BENJY       I beg your pardon?             
                                                              
FORD        Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were proposing a  
            toast.                                                          
                                                                
BENJY       Now, Earth creature. We have, as you know, been more or 
            less running your planet for the last ten million years in order
            to find this wretched thing called the Ultimate Question.      
                                                              
ARTHUR      Why?                                                 
                                                            
FRANKIE     Ah, no, we've already thought of that one, but it doesn't
            fit the answer.                                            
                                                          
ARTHUR      No, I mean, why have you been doing it?          
                                                        
FRANKIE     Oh, I see. Oh, er, Well, eventually just habit I think.
            To be brutally honest, and this is more or less the point,
            we're sick to the teeth of the whole thing, and the
            prospect of doing it all over again on account of those
            whinnet-ridden Vogons quite frankly gives me the screaming
            heebie-jeebies, you know what I mean?

BENJY       Ah, we've been offered a quite enormously fat contract to do the
            the 5D TV chat show and lecture circuit, and I'm very much inclined to take it.

BENJY       We're sick to the teeth of the whole thing, and the 
            prospect of doing it all over again gives me the screaming      
            heebie-jeebies, you know what I mean?

FRANKIE     We've been offered a quite enormously fat contract to do the
            the 5D TV chat show and lecture circuit, and I'm.. I'm very much
            inclined to take it.

ZAPHOD      Er, I would. Wouldn't you, Ford?               
                                                      
FORD        Oh, yes. Jump at it like a shot.               
                                                    
ARTHUR      But that's exactly the attitude those philosophers took 
            Does no-one in this galaxy do anything other than appear on    
            chat shows?                                                   
                                                             
FRANKIE     The point is this. We are in a position to give you    
            a very important commission. We still want to find the Ultimate
            Question, because it gives us a lot of bargaining muscle with 
            the 5D TV companies. So, so it's worth a lot of money.
            (The mice giggle avariciously.)
                                                        
BENJY       Ah, quite clearly if we're sitting down
            in the studio, mentioning that we happen to know
            the answer to life, the universe and everything, and then
            eventually have to admit that it's 42, then I think
            the show's probably quite short. 

BENJY       I mean, quite clearly if we're sitting there looking very
            relaxed in the studio, just mentioning that we happen to know  
            the answer to life, the universe and everything, and then     
            eventually have to admit that in fact it's 42, then I think  
            the show's probably going to be quite short.         
                                                           
ARTHUR      Yes, but doesn't that mean you have to go through your  
            whole ten million year programme again?                        
                                                              
FRANKIE     We think there might be a short cut. Your agent has...
                                                             
ZAPHOD      Er, that's me.                                      
                                                           
ARTHUR      Is it!?                                           
                                                         
FRANKIE     Your agent has suggested that both you and Earth girl, 
            as the last-generation products of the computer matrix, are    
            probably in an ideal position to find the Question for us     
            and find it quickly! Go out and find it for us, and we'll make  
            you.. a reasonably rich man.                                 
                                                            
ZAPHOD      We're holding out for extremely rich.              
                                                          
FRANKIE     Alright, extremely rich. You drive a hard bargain, Beeblebrox.                                                
                                                          
F/X         Alarms sound.                                       
                                                        
BENJY       Hells bells, what is it now?                    
                                                      
PA VOICE    Emergency, emergency! Hostile ship just landed 
            on the planet. Intruders now in the works reception area!

F/X         Sounds of rushing feet, tables being knocked over, etc.    
            Continues under the following dialogue..
                                                                
PA VOICE    Defence stations! Defence stations! Come on, you     
            guys, what are you, nuts? Get out of there!                    
                                                               
F/X         More sirens begin.
                                                        
TRILLIAN    Are you thinking what I'm thinking?          
                                                      
ZAPHOD      Ah, police! Hell and bat's dos, we've got to get out!
                                                            
BENJY       Police?                                             
                                                          
ZAPHOD      Yes, er., it's this wretched spacecraft we've stolen.  
            I left them a note explaining how they could make a profit on   
            the insurance claim but it doesn't seem to have worked!       
                                                             
FORD        Well, come on then! Lets move!                        
                                                           
FRANKIE     Earthman! Find us the question!                  
                                                         
ARTHUR      How?                                            
                                                       
FRANKIE     42. No. No, that doesn't work either.  
                                                                
ZAPHOD      We will find it! Come on, get out of here!             
                                                              
FORD        Er, thanks for the meal, guys. Sorry we've got to rush. 
                                                             
F/X         Running feet.
                                                            

Onwards...